sometimes some ppl act irrationally. we're facing problems here, and we asked somebody for help. and rather than trying to help solve the problem, that person (whom we know will help us out normally) keeps on reacting negatively, answering "no", "cannot", "it's too late", etc.. rather than trying to find a way to help us. so nicely, i told him to solve the problem rather than keep on saying no. i keep on giving probably suggestions on how to solve the prob.
of course, i didn't notice this was a cue that he is reluctant to help until it was too late. until when he started saying things like "i hope u guys feel guilty if i die tomorrow driving back to KL with not enough sleep" and "i have a future wife to take care of, she only has a mother and her mother is really old, can u imagine what will happen to her if i die?" and things like that.
all the time i kept my cool. probably coz i just joined the company. or probably coz he's a senior. but in my heart i was screaming "hey, stop behaving irrationally, and instead of making us feel guilty, help us out, ok? we're having a big problem here and we are already worrying about it, and if u're really concerned about the company, you could try your best to help and not make us worry about you?" i mean, maybe yes you might have not enough sleep, but do u have to rub it in like that and make us worry about another thing over here?
so like his intended intentio, we felt guilty. we thought he would help us out for the company's benefit (well, we all work hard to make the company more successful, and i personally thought that this is everybody's highest objective, deepest motive), but we didn't think he would be so unwilling to help. so we try to find another alternative which will take even more longer than the short time we would take if he helped us, in the best of intentions. so we ask him to forget it and get some sleep rather than helping us. we are professionals, so we won't blame him for it. we are professionals, we don't mind working till late. we are professionals, we can fix all kinds of problems. instead, he insisted on helping, and this in turn made my colleague here feel so guilty that he literally begged the guy to go to sleep.
and he didn't. and he still has the cheek to tell us he will need 2 hours to finish it, will probably finish at 2am. i know he's going to do this, coz i met ppl like that before. i advised my colleague against begging him to stop, coz i know he won't stop but my colleague still begged. and we don't need to guess, that guy insisted to do it, thus rubbing the guilt in more.
now, just to clarify, my colleague feels really guilty coz he believes that 'if a guy has a mind set to something i.e. "'im going to succeed" or "i'm going to die", that is what will happen'. he believes that u create ur own destiny so if your mind is set to something, it will most probably happen to u. and he so firmly believes in this, that he feels so damn guilty and worried about the guy, in addition to tomorrow's presentation. we don't need this to add to our burden, but this is just what this guy is doing to us. i can't believe it.
shucks, now i will be more aware of the cue. this is the same guy who would help u with anything if he voluntarily offers it. never expected this from him.
