i had a lengthy chat with a fren of mine over an IM 2 nites ago. yeah, i slept at 3am that day, probably one of the reasons why i felt so like ass yesterday.
in the beginning, the chat revolved around business, money and life... but then he mentioned, "hey, don't talk serious things with me now at this hour". i said ok and then begin chatting about some other not-so-serious stuffs. like girls. hehe. what else can guys talk about ;)
anyways, somehow the conversation steered back to serious stuffs, and after chatting with him, i realized that i'm actually going out of focus. yup, i'm actually forgetting my purpose. and coincidentally, to quote san-chan (quoted from matrix),
*** QUOTE *** Agent Smith: But, as you well know, appearances can be deceiving, which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're free. We're here because we're not free. There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist.
*Several Agent Smith Clones walk in*
Agent Smith Clone 1: It is purpose that created us.
Agent Smith Clone 2: Purpose that connects us.
Agent Smith Clone 3: Purpose that pulls us.
Agent Smith Clone 4: That guides us.
Agent Smith Clone 5: That drives us.
Agent Smith Clone 6: It is purpose that defines us.
Agent Smith Clone 7: Purpose that binds us.
Agent Smith: We are here because of you, Mr Anderson. We're here to take from you what you tried to take from us.
*Attemps to copy himself into Neo*
Agent Smith: Purpose.
*** END QUOTE ***
yup. i realized that in the midst of being employed, caught in the frantic pace of the industry, catching up with deadlines, making sure my applications work, preparing documentations, preparing proposals, somehow.... i lost my sense of purpose, i totally forgot my purpose, i totally lost touch of the reason why i'm here in the first place. no shit.
whilst i was busy doing all this, busy worrying about whether i'll get my increment, whether i'm giving the correct impressions, whether i'm making the right moves, whether i'm pissing anybody off, whether i'm going further in the company.......... *shock*. i shouldn't be worrying about all this at all. why? because i have a greater purpose to serve, because i'm here to inch myself a step closer to it.
when first i set out to get employed (after my first ventures kind of faltered), i gave myself 3 objectives to fulfill. and i've forgotten about them. luckily for that chat, (although it costed me, since i slept late and got sick yesterday) i've gotten in touch with all 3 objectives back. and now, no matter what, i will not forget them. and i shall not worry about unnecessary stuffs anymore. it is more important to be earnest.
