i started reading the manual in preparation for my certification exam (which has been delayed for a year, and yes lord, i haven't taken it yet :p) 10 minutes ago, and thoughts flew past my mind.
i noticed that although i have a habit to write notes while studying, they mainly serve as a memory enhancer technique in addition to reading in mind and reading out aloud. there has not been a lot of times when i look back at my notes to prepare, and if there was any, it's probably because the lecture notes weren't mine or i was terribly unprepared. during university times i used to depend solely on lecture notes, pure lecture notes (photocopied or borrowed from friends :p) and i don't really write a lot of notes to begin with. whatever i write will be left behind somewhere, and i'll continue reading the lecture notes. i don't even bother to look up references, preferring to ask, or just feign ignorance and memorize. i really, was quite a classic bug-eyed procrastinating student who managed to get his engineering degree without knowing what a transistor is for, not to mention how to fit a transistor in a circuit diagram.
i don't quite understand. i used to be a really good student in primary school and secondary school days. people will look at me and say "genius". i mean, i myself don't think i'm worth that tag, but my science and mathematical (especially mathematics) prowess was .. in other words, unchallenged. the sad part is, when i got into university, everything vanished. my physics (basic electronics, etc etc..) sucked, and i scored just above the passing mark for my mathematical subjects. all this happened after the final semester of year 1, prior to that i was still a relatively top scorer.
i can still remember during secondary school i used to challenge myself to finish my homework even before the class finishes, just so that i can watch the tv when i get home, [ no need to do homework :) ]. but my university mates (yeah i know you're grinning now) will never believe this, as time and again i never finish any of my tutorials nor assignments on time, if i ever did them in the first place.
why the change? *shrugs* i dunno. jaded? maybe. tired of studying anymore? i dunno. until now i don't know.
the good thing is when i got out of university and started working, everything changed again. i finish my tasks on time, and with quality (i hope, hehe). client's problems were solved in an instant like never before, prompting them to offer me a job after just a week of working with me, which i turned down as i mentioned in my previous post. but all this doesn't happen until after the first 6 months of graduating. somehow i just pulled myself out.
did i learn anything from my procrastinating years? yes, plenty, and it was a very reflective period.. i looked at myself from a new angle, and i came out, relatively unscatched. basically, i was lucky coz i didn't fail any subjects.
as i have heard, some people get through the down cycles relatively quickly, and early in their years. mine was throughout university years, a terrible time for it to happen, but i'm happy that i managed to pull myself out of the mess. i have the sudden change from studying - working lifestyle to thank for that. that changing period allowed myself to reflect on my life once again, and to make that fateful decision of seizing the day.
now, if only i can muster enough determination to study this manual for the exam.
