I have just gotten a feedback from someone I passed my blog link to. He said outright that my thinking is messy. Of course, this wasn't very pleasant. I mean, who likes criticism, especially unsolicited ones, right?
There could be better ways of saying it, but he chose to be direct. I wouldn't say it's his fault at being direct; it was unpleasant indeed, but it was a privilege getting a feedback, and I appreciate it.
What surprises me is my reaction towards the feedback. I got pissed off, and I got very impatient with him. Yes, maybe he should've been less direct, but again if he had to put some effort on giving me feedback, it may result in him not giving a feedback at all, which will result in my loss at not getting a feedback. Which is a bad thing.
Anyway, sometimes you come across people who are incompatible to you. I have met hundreds of people, and once or twice you get someone who gets on your nerves. And likewise, of course. I don't control it, I can't control it, so I guess we'll just have to deal with it.
Now, lets go back to the feedback. He's right. My thinking is messy, which results in a messy blog. I would like to think that free flow writing without editing has something to do with it, but sometimes I have to admit my weaknesses, and one of it is chaotic thinking.
The problem is, I don't know how to fix it. I'm not one of those who's blessed with a neat way of thinking and organizing their lives. Mine's a havoc, it's like a curse that I have to live with since young, and so far I have managed to keep the demons in check, and still achieve things in life. Maybe I haven't grown, maybe I am indeed immature, but what actually draws the line between being mature and immature?
In olden times, there is no such thing as childhood or teenage years. When a boy reaches 10 years of age, they are expected to be a man and fend for their family. There's no such thing as teenage years, or "turn mature". You're ten now, so you have to work and feed your family. And they grow old from that age onwards, maybe with a cultivated mind, maybe without. Basically the "teenage" phase is something that was never a part of human civilisation; you can say that it's only the previous century's creation.
So what is maturity? Is it having a neat thinking? Or is it something that does not involve the way you structure your thoughts at all? Is having an erratic way of thinking a bad thing? Or is having a neat way of thinkng the only way to go? Frankly, I have no idea.
Some people are blessed with a clear cut way of thinking and organizing things, and I envy them. But what about people like me? Am I just not blessed with that kind of thinking, or did I just never get to properly inculcate that kind of style?
